Supporting someone with depression can be difficult, especially if you are unsure what to say or worried about saying the wrong thing.
Depression can affect mood, motivation, energy, sleep, concentration, confidence and relationships. Someone who is struggling may withdraw from others, lose interest in things they normally enjoy or find everyday tasks much harder than usual.
If someone you care about is experiencing depression, your support can make a real difference.
You do not need to have all the answers. You do not need to “fix” the problem. Often, being present, listening and helping someone feel less alone can be incredibly important.
Here are 7 ways to support someone with depression.
1. Listen Without Judgement
One of the most helpful things you can do is listen.
People with depression may already feel guilty, ashamed or worried about being a burden.
They may also believe that nobody understands what they are going through.
Try to create a space where they can talk openly without being criticised or rushed.
You do not need to immediately offer solutions.
Sometimes phrases such as:
“I’m here for you.”
“You can talk to me.”
“I might not fully understand, but I want to listen.”
can be enough.
Avoid telling someone to “cheer up,” “look on the bright side” or “get over it.”
These comments may be well meant, but they can make someone feel misunderstood.
Depression is not simply a bad mood.
2. Check In Regularly
People experiencing depression often withdraw from others.
They may stop answering messages, cancel plans or avoid social contact.
Try not to assume this means they no longer want you around.
Sometimes they may simply not have the energy to respond.
A simple message can help.
You might say:
“Just checking in. No pressure to reply.”
“Thinking of you today.”
“Would you like some company?”
Regular, low-pressure contact can remind someone that they are not alone.
It can also make it easier for them to reach out when they are ready.
3. Offer Practical Help
Depression can make normal tasks feel overwhelming.
Cooking, cleaning, shopping, attending appointments or replying to emails may suddenly require a huge amount of effort.
Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try offering something specific.
For example:
“Would you like me to pick up some shopping?”
“Do you want me to come with you to your appointment?”
“I can bring some food over this evening.”
Specific offers can be easier to accept.
Practical support may reduce stress and give the person more energy to focus on recovery.
4. Encourage Professional Support
Friends and family can provide valuable emotional support, but depression may also require professional help.
You can encourage the person to speak to:
- Their GP
- A counsellor
- A mental health professional
- A support worker
- A trusted mental health organisation
Try to avoid sounding forceful or making them feel like a problem that needs fixing.
You might say:
“I wonder if talking to someone professionally might help.”
“If you want, I can help you look at support options.”
“I can come with you if that would make it easier.”
If someone has had a bad experience with support in the past, they may be reluctant to try again.
Listen to their concerns and help them explore different options.
5. Be Patient
Depression does not usually disappear quickly.
Recovery can take time, and progress is not always a straight line.
Someone may seem much better one week and struggle again the next.
This does not mean they are failing.
Try not to put pressure on them to recover on your timetable.
Avoid comments such as:
“I thought you were getting better.”
“You’ve been like this for ages.”
“You need to move on.”
These comments can increase shame and make someone feel they are disappointing the people around them.
Patience and consistency are often far more helpful.
6. Encourage Small Steps
When someone is depressed, large goals can feel impossible.
Encourage small, manageable steps.
This might include:
- Getting out of bed
- Having a shower
- Eating something
- Going for a short walk
- Sitting outside
- Making one phone call
- Attending an appointment
- Spending a little time with someone they trust
Do not underestimate the effort these things can take.
Something that looks small from the outside may feel like a major achievement to someone struggling with depression.
Try to encourage without putting pressure on them.
7. Take Suicidal Thoughts Seriously
Depression can sometimes involve thoughts of suicide, self-harm or feeling that life is not worth living.
If someone tells you they are thinking about suicide, take it seriously.
Do not dismiss it or assume they are simply seeking attention.
You can ask directly whether they are thinking about harming themselves.
Talking about suicide does not put the idea into someone’s head.
If you believe there is an immediate risk, stay with them if it is safe to do so and seek urgent help.
Call 999 or go to the nearest Accident & Emergency department if there is immediate danger.
You can also help them contact their GP or an urgent mental health service.
What Not to Say to Someone With Depression
Even well-intentioned comments can sometimes make things harder.
Try to avoid phrases such as:
- “Other people have it worse.”
- “You just need to think positively.”
- “Snap out of it.”
- “You have nothing to be depressed about.”
- “You just need to keep busy.”
- “Why can’t you be happy?”
These comments can make someone feel that their emotions are invalid.
Instead, focus on empathy.
You do not need to fully understand what someone is experiencing in order to support them.
Look After Your Own Mental Health Too
Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally demanding.
It is important to look after yourself as well.
You are allowed to have boundaries.
You are not responsible for providing support every hour of every day.
Make sure you:
- Get enough rest
- Speak to someone you trust
- Maintain your own routine
- Take breaks
- Ask for support if needed
Looking after yourself does not mean you care less.
It helps you provide support in a healthier and more sustainable way.
How Counselling Can Help Someone With Depression
Counselling can provide a safe and confidential place to explore difficult emotions and experiences.
A counsellor may help someone understand:
- Negative thought patterns
- Low self-esteem
- Anxiety
- Grief
- Trauma
- Relationship difficulties
- Stress
- Feelings of hopelessness
Counselling can also help people develop healthier coping strategies and rebuild confidence.
Different people recover in different ways, and counselling may be one part of a wider support plan.
Depression Support From Anxious Minds
At Anxious Minds, we provide accessible counselling and mental health support for people experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma, bereavement, stress and other emotional difficulties.
We also understand how difficult it can be for friends and family members who are trying to support someone they care about.
You do not need to have all the answers.
Listening, checking in, offering practical help and encouraging appropriate professional support can all make a difference.
Most importantly, remind the person that they do not have to face depression alone.
Find out more about counselling and mental health support from Anxious Minds at www.anxiousminds.co.uk.
If you believe someone is in immediate danger or there is an immediate risk of serious harm, call 999 or go to your nearest Accident & Emergency department.
